love letters as writing samples, the candidate who spoke Pirate, and other tales of amazing resumes

love letters as writing samples, the candidate who spoke Pirate, and otzu sich tales of amazing resumes love letters as writing samples, the candidate who spoke Pirate, and other tales of amazing resumes A few weeks ago,I asked you about the strangest things youve ever seen on a resume. You shared some amazing stories so many, in fact, that I couldnt pick my usual 10, so here are 30 of the best.1.A recent applicant for an entry-level office job at the nonprofit where I work wrote in his application, Just Google me. As if I welchesnt alreadygoing to. The candidate did not get an einstellungsgesprch.2. At a previous job we received a 3-page resume that started with a list of accomplishments. One of the so-called accomplishments was MetLenny Kravitz. We had a laugh at that, because WTF? It had absolutely nothing to do with the job or the industry that we were in. And, Imean, he just met the dude, he didnt work with him or anything. Thats absolutely not an accomplishment even if youre t rying to break intothe recording geschftliches miteinander or somethingThen we got to the third page of his resume and it was just a scanned picture of him with Lenny Kravitz.We did not move forward with his application.3.A candidate listed his part in a play in the 1980s for an office job at a university. He was either in elementary or middle school then. He had noother acting or theatrical experience. Im pretty sure it was a school play.4.We interviewed a guy for a web designers job. His portfolio was quite good, until we came across one of our own websites in there. Weasked him to explain and he said that he put it in there as an example of a well designed website. We didnt really believe him. He didnt getthe job.5.This was a position aimed at university students. A student applied, and in the application where she had to select an option, instead of usingan X or check mark, she filled in the blanks with hearts.6.We had someone with a languages section and they wrote Pirate. We o nly called because we were desperate and his work was in line withwhat we needed. We made him an offer but Im worried that might have enforced his decision here. We asked about it in the phone screenand he confirmed that it meant talking with a lot of arrrs.7. A college student applied for a summer internship by sending us copies of love letters he wrote to his high school crush as a proof of hiswriting skills.8.I had a husband and wife apply together for one position, with a single resume. It listed degrees and experience, with dates, but did notdifferentiate between spouses. They were working artists and explained they preferred to share a job and decide among themselves whowould show up on any given day.They provided a link to their art portfolio. (The position I was hiring for was not art-related.) I looked and their art involved nude photos ofthemselves, digitally combined and altered into sort of amorphous abstracts.9. A female applicant put Bachelorette Degree on her resume a nd when I called her to screen, let her know of, what I had assumed, was atypo. She assured me that she did, indeed, have a Bachelorette degree because shes not a man. Duh.10.I got a resume where instead of attaching his resume, the poor guy accidentally attached a letter from his mom telling him to get a job andstop taking money from his grandfather. He didnt get an interview either. I still wonder if he ever stopped mooching off his grandpa.11. Ive seen quite a few resumes that list fanfic and its even worse when its fanfic for books that my company publishes. Im in fandom andenjoy writing/reading fanfic, but no one is going to hire someone who wrote fanfic for X series to work with that author. Its a disaster waiting tohappen.There have been a few who have linked to their fanfic and well.I checked out of pure curiosity (none of them were invited for aninterview). One was a really great author. Another had some of the more hardcore kinks fandom loves (and ones that make meuncomfor table), and I was just baffled that someone would think its a good idea to link to their erotica on a resume.12.It was the kind of application form where youre supposed to upload your resume as an attachment, and one candidate uploaded a Worddocument that contained one line Resume available upon request.13. Once received a resume that was written in the form of a recipe1/2 cup working with individuals on their job skills2 tsp crisis intervention3 cups supervising staffThat kind of thing. And there were little clip art gingerbread men all over it. And I remember the paper being pink. No actual time spent in jobs(list of jobs at the bottom), or list of skills. It was up to us to figure out what to what the different measurements equated.14. Onelisted why he left each job. Fired, quit because the boss sucked (yes, that was a reason), but the one that stood out?Fired because he was in jail for attempted murder. Yeah we didnt interview him.(In the resume, he did note that he was found no t guilty on a technicality. Not that he wasnt actually not guilty, but found not guilty due to atechnicality.)15.In the past few months I have seen excessive use of emojis (more than 0 is excessive to me) put down working my ass off as one of the bullet points for a position a very light resume in the work history section, but a very detailed Karate section16. When we had an open position that was half-admin-half-research-assistant, one applicant in his late twenties sent a resume that began withstandard education/work history and continued on the 3rd page into a creative writing sample/series of diary entries. The entries coveredevery topic from a conversation with his dying grandfather, to his first sexual experience (3rd kusine graphically described, occurring in a backroom of his parents church), to a very flowery description of doing drugs in a field with his best friends.Our office came up with several theories. I half regret never reaching out to him to confirm whether this w as a prank, accident, or grossmisunderstanding of the job posting.17. I once got someone who listed Worlds Best Grandson under awards. He was the winner in 2003, and then again from 2006-2008. Icontacted him to come in for an interview (this was a part time call center job), but he didnt answer. I was slightly disappointed, because hisresume cracked me up.18.I once received a resume that contained a photo of the applicant. It was a formally posed shot of him standing in front of a bookshelf holding abook and looking thoughtfully into the distance. The same resume include a series of quotes about him from people he knew (think the kind ofblurbs you find on book jackets). Unfortunately for him, I knew some of them as well and they confirmed they hadnt either said those things orgiven him permission to use their names in his resume.19.I once received a resume that was fairly normal, along with a cover letter that was written as a ransom note (all the letters and words cut outof differe nt magazines). I think the intent was to show creativity and humor, but it actually just felt a little creepy. No interview.20.The strangest was a resume started off with the usual stuff like name address, etc. Then he states male with defined brown beard with a fewgray hairs. The resume then continued on like a normal resume. If it wasnt for that line he totally would have gotten an interview.21. Instead of stating I was a stay at home mom and now Im returning to work one woman listed it as a job. But also listed it as if she was talkingto a 4-year-old. Something like thisThe Smith Household1/1/13 to foreverMommy to the best children in the world*care for two amazing kids I love so much*pay household bills for my wonderful family*grocery shop to provide for my loves22.I will never forget the time we were hiring for a research assistant and indicated a preference for bilingual English/Spanish speakers. Oneapplicants cover letter included Im not bilingual or bisexual (that I know of) .23.I hired for 15 years for professional healthcare positions. Some of the memorable ones Honorable mention certificate from a high school science fair 3rd place finish in a karate tournament in 7th grade Bikini photo of candidate Photo of candidate posing with firearm Photo of applicant posing in a bar saluting with a neon-blue cocktail while wearing a stethescope around her neck Related doc who had IN VITO VERITAS as the actual header on his resume (like, Im an enophile too, but unless youre applying for a jobin the beverage industry, THATS NOT RELEVANT.)24. I received a two page resume where the first page listed the applicants interpartieal skills. In bullet points. The second page had a Work heading, with the note that they would be happy to discuss their professional experience during their interviewbut that they were not goingto provide any info on their experience beforehand25.I had an applicant give me his entire budget down to his electric bill and Netflix account, inclu ding a line item for the amount he would need to take my girlfriend out to dinner now and again when asked for his salary requirements.26.For a professional position in management an applicant sent a resume that was around 9 pages in length. The length was bad enough but thelast several pages were detailed lists of his childrens accomplishments from middle school up until college (recent). Apparently he thoughtthat demonstrating that he could rear productive and accomplished children said a lot about his management skills.27. We recently had an applicant who didnt even send a resume. Instead he attached a headshot and an invoice from a recent eye doctorappointment. Needless to say he did not receive the position.28.The person who treated her resume like a wedding invitation.The resume itself had been printed on a pearlescent cardstock, with the applicants initials set as a watermark in the background in a fancyscript. That same watermark was printed on a piece of (synthetic) vellum laid overtop the resume, for which purpose Im still unclear. It alsocame with a reply card using the same paper finishes / watermarks / font style. Where the rest of the resume was obviously reaching for somesort of matrimonial elegance, the reply card ended with what I assume was a tongue-in-cheek joke but landed super flat. The options on thereply card were Yes, wed love to interview you and will be in touch, No, but Ill pass along your resume to a colleague who may beinterested, and my favourite, NO, and dont ever apply here again My boss at the time was like, Can I add a fourth option that says This isa deeply inappropriate way to format your application?29.I think the oddest Ive seen to date, was a resume cover letter that included a picture of the applicant doing the 70s action hero slide acrossthe hood of a car.30.And from way back in 2014, because it needs to be included every time this topic comes upThe candidate who listed Birthed four children vaginally with no anaestheti c under Other Experience.